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NFL Week 7 Recap

Hey hey, beautiful people.


It's 2 AM and I should definitely be sleeping but brain go brr so here I am. Writing about football. Dodging the existential dread and thinking about dying my hair or getting a tattoo to solve all my problems. I deserve a treat.


And at a shocking 4-2, so do the Jets — except when I feel like I deserve a treat I go get myself an iced coffee or something. The Jets go out and get themselves a James Robinson.


Circumstances really lent themselves to the trade, as Jets RB Breece Hall went down with an ACL injury, and the Jaguars ignored their undrafted star player in favor of Travis Etienne, who to be fair, has looked dynamic in recent weeks. But me, personally — when I order an amazing and life-changing iced coffee, I don't leave it on my desk for hours while the ice melts just to order a new one later. I drink that shit! And the Jaguars should've been drinking James Robinson. Er– y'all know what I'm trying to say.


Jrob got 0 touches against the Giants. Etienne posted solid numbers but had some trouble holding onto the ball, fumbling in Giants territory and dropping a promising-looking screen pass later in the game. Regardless, it's Etienne's backfield now, and Robinson is headed up to New York. Good news for fantasy managers of both players I'd say. Not that I have Jrob on my squad or anything...


I'm honestly just happy he's going somewhere else to a team that will hopefully appreciate his skills. And now he gets to experience what it's like to be on a team with a winning record.


The Jets got their 4th W on the season after beating the YMCA Broncos, because of course. The Broncos continue riding into tanking territory and they show no sign of slowing down... Though I'm not sure what tanking would do for them at this point, considering every Broncos draft pick for the next 50 years belongs to the Seattle Seahawks. Such was the price for acquiring Russell Wilson. Quite a tough position for the Denver front office to be in — overseeing a bad team with no money and very little means of making anything happen in the immediate future.


Broncos Front Office, meet Broncos Front Office:


Obligatory Taylor Swift GIF from the new album (it's pretty good, just in case any of you were wondering. Maybe not quite Red or Folklore good, but still really good. Like 1989 if it didn't have "Shake It Off" on it. 1989 definitely had some gems, though. "Style?" "I Wish You Would?" "Clean?" "Wildest Dreams?" God "Wildest Dreams" is a good song. Probably top 5 T-Swift. Remember when she released it as a single and they gave it this radio version that absolutely butchered the bridge because they changed the percussion? I was livid. Why not just let nice things be nice? I swear they slightly sped up the tempo, too. I'm upset now. Can't believe we as a society let that happen).


Fuck, it's 3 AM. Uhhhhh football stuff football stuff football stuff.


Thursday Night Football was actually entertaining for once, so that was cool. The Cardinals beat the Saints 42-34. 76 points scored (check my math on that)! Which I'm pretty sure was more than the prior 2 weeks of TNF combined. The Cards' defense intercepted Andy Dalton twice and took both back for TDs — one from LB Isaiah Simmons, and the other by CB Marco Wilson, who gave us this incredible GIF that we'll treasure forever.


It's entirely possible that game was Cards fans' Super Bowl this season. Honestly? Hang the banner. Go wild.


Elsewhere, PJ Walker and the Carolina Panthers crushed Tom Brady and the Bucs 21-3...


What else needs to be said?


Aaron Rodgers lost to the Washington Commanders, and Matt Ryan got benched. All-in-all, not a great week for the old generation of star QBs.


Not that the next gen had themselves a stellar week, either.


Kenny Pickett threw 3 interceptions Sunday night against the Dolphins in a 16-10 loss. Right now the Steelers are probably wishing they drafted Kenny Doesn'tThrowSoManyPicksett instead.


Alright, if you couldn't already tell, my brain is disintegrating in real time and I should probably go to sleep. So I'm gonna do that.


Daniel Jones is better than your favorite QB.


Ok goodnight. Or good-whatever-time-it-is-for-you <3




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